Forgive Your Enemies
Matthew 6:9 Thus therefore shall you pray: Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. 10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. 11 Give us this day our supersubstantial bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from evil. Amen. 14 For if you will forgive men their offences, your Heavenly Father will forgive you also your offences. 15 But if you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your offences.
Jesus isn’t kidding here. A lot of people try to claim that once your are saved by Christ, you cannot lose your salvation, but that’s simply not true. There are so many Scripture verse about the things we must do to maintain our salvation that no honest person can read the Bible and believe the doctrine of Once Saved Always Saved (OSAS).
If you look just at some of the verses for what Jesus says about forgiveness, and how we MUST forgive others who sin against us, the doctrine of OSAS is just not even close to tenable. For example, look again at the Our Father prayer: “If you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your offenses”. Your forgiveness of your sins depends on whether you forgive others.
And lest you think that Jesus might have been speaking a little over the top or that He’s trying to make a point, consider the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant:
Matthew 18:23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who would take an account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to take the account, one was brought to him, that owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And as he had not wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded that he should be sold, and his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 But that servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 And the lord of that servant being moved with pity, let him go and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that servant was gone out, he found one of his fellow servants that owed him an hundred pence: and laying hold of him, throttled him, saying: Pay what thou owest. 29 And his fellow servant falling down, besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he paid the debt. 31 Now his fellow servants seeing what was done, were very much grieved, and they came and told their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord called him; and said to him: Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all the debt, because thou besoughtest me: 33 Shouldst not thou then have had compassion also on thy fellow servant, even as I had compassion on thee? 34 And his lord being angry, delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. 35 So also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.
Look carefully at those words. Jesus NEVER uttered a single word carelessly or in error. He NEVER said a word that He didn’t mean. Look at what He says about those who refuse to forgive others. He says that the Father will reinstate all our sins if we refuse to forgive the sins of others. Jesus isn’t kidding here.
To show exactly what He commands of us, and to show that He too will abide by this command He has given to us, He shows us on Calvary at the Crucifixion. Those men were committing the single greatest sin of all time, deicide, the killing of God Himself. This sin is greater than any other sin that has ever been committed. Even while they are killing Him, Jesus shows forgiveness.
Luke 23:33 And when they were come to the place which is called Calvary, they crucified him there; and the robbers, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 34 And Jesus said: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. But they, dividing his garments, cast lots.
Now I know this seems incredibly hard, and in fact it feels almost impossible. Some questions immediately come to mind:
How exactly do we forgive our enemies?
What if we don’t FEEL like we have forgiven someone?
Do we have to treat them the same way we did before they sinned against us?
These are excellent questions, and we will tackle them last to first.
DO WE HAVE TO TREAT THEM THE SAME WAY WE DID BEFORE THEY SINNED AGAINST US?
Short answer: No
You absolutely can forgive someone while at the same time changing your behavior towards them if such behavior is to protect yourself. We are not required to become perpetual victims. Forgiveness is giving up your claims to vengeance against someone. It is putting aside your right to eternal judgment against them. It does not mean that you give up your right to temporal justice against them. You can still wish for an offender to be punished by the courts and for you to be compensated for any losses you might have suffered.
Forgiveness that Jesus is speaking about is the eternal forgiveness that we are due because every sin has eternal consequences. This is what we absolutely must give up. Now you are free to give up your right to temporal justice and your right to compensation for losses, and doing so can be very laudable and even spiritually beneficial. But that is a prudential judgment that each person can make on their own.
If your safety or the safety of others is at stake, then you should keep a distance between this person and yourself. If this person is a threat to others and having them put into jail would protect others, then this should be done as well. If there is no safety concerns, you are within your rights to forgive temporal justice or not. This is what is meant by prudential judgment.
What we must do is forgive others of any eternal justice and vengeance we may have against them. Because God has forgiven us of our eternal punishment for our sins. (He still will have us punished in Purgatory for any temporal justice that we have not atoned for or performed satisfactory penance for in our lifetimes.
Colossians 3:12 As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
WHAT IF WE DON’T FEEL LIKE WE HAVE FORGIVEN SOMEONE?
What you must understand first and foremost about forgiveness is that it is not about our feelings. Forgiveness is not dependent upon our feelings, it is an act of the will. Just as a judge might absolutely LOATHE a defendant, when the judge issues a Not Guilty verdict, that defendant is set free. The judge’s feelings about the matter do not affect the verdict.
This is similar to ourselves and forgiveness. It is an act of the will, and you just have to make that act. You have to commit an act of the will to forgive others and it will happen. What you may have still are feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal and revenge, but if your act of your will is to forgive them, then they are forgiven.
What you will find is that if you keep forgiving others, and keep yourself in a state of grace and continually going to Confession, your feelings will begin to follow and mirror your will. Always remember that feelings can be important tools for helping our spirit, mind and will to act the proper way. But feelings can also be out of sorts, malformed or improper. Feelings can be detached from truth and reality. We must work to always conform ourselves to God and truth. If we make this a sustained habit, we will see that our feelings then begin to follow the lead of our will and our feelings will be much more forgiving as well.
Psalm 102:10 He hath not dealt with us according to our sins: nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 11 For according to the height of the heaven above the earth: He hath strengthened His mercy towards them that fear Him. 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our iniquities from us. 13 As a father hath compassion on his children, so hath the Lord compassion on them that fear Him: 14 For He knoweth our frame. He remembereth that we are dust
HOW EXACTLY DO WE FORGIVE OUR ENEMIES?
While this is not the only way it can be done (there are myriad ways to forgive). One way that I have found that is particularly useful is to go into a Church to forgive others. Doing your forgiving directly to and in front of God Himself in the Eucharist in the Tabernacle is very helpful sometimes if you are finding it difficult to forgive.
Matthew 5:22 But I say to you, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger of the judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council. And whosoever shall say, Thou Fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 If therefore thou offer thy gift at the altar, and there thou remember that thy brother hath any thing against thee; 24 Leave there thy offering before the altar, and go first to be reconciled to thy brother: and then coming thou shalt offer thy gift.
What I recommend to people is to go into Church, and if possible, to go to Confession first. Making sure that you have had your soul cleansed of all your sins is a perfect way to prepare yourself to forgive others. This isn’t required, but it is incredibly helpful in forming your soul, mind and body to forgive others.
Hebrews 4:14 Having therefore a great high priest that hath passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God: let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we have not a high priest, who can not have compassion on our infirmities: but one tempted in all things like as we are, without sin. 16 Let us go therefore with confidence to the throne of grace: that we may obtain mercy, and find grace in seasonable aid.
Remember that God is always looking to forgive us. He desires to flood us with His mercy, if we would just come to Him and repent. So let us go with confidence to His altar. Go to your Church, go to Confession and then after you have performed your penance, it is time to start forgiving others like Christ has just forgiven you.
If possible, get on your knees. Come before Our Lord in the Eucharist and present yourself in a humble manner. He has given freely His mercy and it is now time for you to give your mercy freely as well.
Leviticus 19:18 Seek not revenge, nor be mindful of the injury of thy citizens. Thou shalt love thy friend as thyself. I am the Lord.
For anyone who has sinned against you, look directly at the Tabernacle (or the Monstrance in Adoration if possible) and say directly to Christ something like this, but in your own words:
Jesus, I come to you as a humble servant whom You have forgiven of my many immense sins. I now want to imitate You and forgive others. I now forgive (insert name here or say all those who have sinned against me) of all sins they have committed against me. I renounce any vengeance I may have against them and all who have sinned against me are forgiven entirely, completely, and eternally. I commend them into Your loving hands. Have mercy on me, a poor sinner. Amen
Place these burdens into the hands of the Divine Judge. Let Christ handle it. He is sovereign over the entire universe and is omniscient. He will judge everyone with perfect judgement. Nothing will escape Him. Take the burden off yourself and free yourself of the anger, bitterness and vengeance in your heart. Free yourself and place everything at His feet.
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If thy brother sin against thee, reprove him: and if he do penance, forgive him. 4 And if he sin against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day be converted unto thee, saying, I repent; forgive him.
God wants you to forgive as He does. So do it. Bring it all to Him and rid yourself of all this in your soul.
Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith to him: I say not to thee, till seven times; but till seventy times seven times.