You Don't Determine the Consequences for Your Actions

The title of this post might be surprising to some, but it is absolutely true.

You do not determine what the consequences for your actions will be. The consequences for your actions are determined by reality and by others. That’s how it works, but a large portion of our culture pretends this is not true.

Each person has the free will to choose whether or not to perform certain actions. Those actions have consequences that are naturally tied to them, plus they may have consequences from other people for those actions. If you choose to swing your fists at another person, a natural consequence of that action is that you have committed a crime and could be put in jail for it. This is the natural consequence of your action. The person you are swinging your fists at might also choose to start swinging their fists at you in return. This is a consequence for your action that is determined by that other person. (We’ll call that the personal consequences for the action.) You had no input into determining those consequences, because they are determined by nature and by another person. Your choice is made when you decide to start swinging fists.

In our society, perpetual adolescence is praised and perpetuated through the refusal of parents to introduce consequences to their children or to protect them from consequences for their actions. This is not only horrific parenting, but it is also child abuse.

Children need to learn about consequences (both good and bad) for their actions from an early age. They need to learn that when they choose to do certain actions, there will be outcomes and consequences for those actions. If a child puts their hand on a hot stove, they will get burned. If a child refuses to study or do homework, they will get bad grades. These are the natural consequences to these actions. Too many parents believe it is their job to protect their children from these consequences instead of reinforcing this reality with their children.

When parents choose to shield their children from the natural and personal consequences for their actions, they are keeping their child from experiencing reality and shielding them from maturity. They are abusing their children (Yes, I said it). They are obstinately refusing to raise their children properly and raise them as responsible adults. A child simply cannot grow into a mature and responsible adult when they do not know, understand, recognize or accept the consequences of their actions.

You do not determine the consequences, natural or personal, for your actions. Your choice is whether you will choose to commit a certain action or not. This is reality and everyone must accept it. Don’t run away from it and don’t try to argue with it. This reality is more true than the law of gravity, and the effects of it are more severe. Choose wisely what actions you will take, so that good consequences will follow from those choices and actions.