How to Fix Your Masculine Wife

This post is a companion post to How To Fix Your Emasculated Husband.

The first thing we must mention is that you obviously cannot force someone to be something they do not want to be. So nothing in this post is about fooling, tricking or forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. What this post is aimed at is setting a better environment to see positive changes in your spouse.

So with that, let’s examine our current situation and culture. For a couple generations, the powers that be have indoctrinated and brainwashed men to reject their masculinity. At the same time, it has done the same to women to have them reject their femininity. What it has encouraged instead is for both men and women to emulate bastardized versions of the natural qualities of the other sex. So today men have become emasculated while women have become machismo. Both are fake versions of the true nature of men and women and an inversion of the natural order that God established.

So how can a husband help, encourage and facilitate his wife to become feminine? The key is not to focus on changing her, but to instead focus on changing yourself, so that she will find it attractive to be more feminine. And with that, here are some ideas that might be helpful.

1. Be Honest: It does no good to attempt any of this if you cannot be honest about the current situation and what parts you may have played in it occurring. It takes two to tango, and almost invariably the situation of a masculine wife is brought about by both the husband and wife behaving badly. You cannot fix a problem you refuse to admit exists. And you cannot fix a problem unless you diagnose it correctly. You are responsible and need to accept that fact. You have been behaving as an emasculated man and this is your fault. So look yourself in the mirror to find your problem. You then need to find a time to have an honest discussion with your wife, but you need to only discuss how YOU have failed at being a properly masculine husband. You don’t need to discuss her or her behavior at all, but instead discuss your failings and emasculated behavior and how you are going to change it.

2. Be Masculine: Stop bending to her dictates and control. Stop following her lead and start leading yourself. Stop arguing with her and take action. Explain yourself and your decisions, but if she wants to badger you down or force you to accept her decision, stop the argument right then. Start by leading and hopefully she will start following. But it will take a while before this happens. You cannot force her to follow your lead, all you can do is to start leading and let her decide whether to follow or not. If you follow these steps, she will consider following you.

3. Take Ownership: The two words that are kryptonite for our modern culture are Accountability and Responsibility. You as the husband need to take both and not avoid them. Everywhere in our culture when someone does something wrong, there is always an attempt to justify the actions or excuse them. Don’t do this. Always keep mentally repeating to yourself the words of Accountability & Responsibility. If there is a failure in yourself or your family, YOU as the husband are responsible and you need to hold yourself accountable.

4. Coaches Don’t Blame Players: A great way to view your role as husband and father is to think of how great coaches act and behave towards their team and star players. They never blame the players for losses. They always accept responsibility for failures. They never publicly criticize their players and they never avoid accountability for the outcomes of the team. If something is not working, they come up with a game plan to address it. And once they do, they bring that game plan to the players to get their input. So if something is wrong in your marriage and family, come up with a game plan and then bring it to your wife for her input.

5. Be on Your Purpose & Grind: Work hard, provide for the family. Make sure you are improving yourself and your skillset. Before your wife will accept your leadership, she must respect you first. One of the first things that men can do to earn the respect of women is to have a purpose and be dedicated to it. Being a man of purpose is inherently attractive to women. So focus on making yourself better, focus on making your career better, and focus on improving every aspect of your life. When you do that, your wife will begin to respect you. That is needed before she will ever follow you.

6. Stop Whining to Your Wife: Nothing makes a woman lose respect for a man faster than whining. So stop it. Stop complaining to her about your troubles and issues. You can mention issues that arise, but don’t whine about them. Develop a plan to address that issue and then bring it to your wife for her perspective on the plan. But don’t whine about it. Men tackle problems, they don’t whine about them. Which leads us to the next point…

7. Utilize the Gifts Your Wife Brings to the Table: Men and women are different. We have different skills and abilities. We are complementary in nature and only a fool neglects to include his wife and her skills in managing the family. Remember faithfully the ode to a holy wife in Proverbs 31:10 A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. By you being a masculine husband who your wife can trust and will follow you, you allow her to become a holy and virtuous wife that even the Scriptures have the highest praise for. You are not to barrel over your wife or mistreat her. She has been given to you by God as a blessing and you should cherish her. So listen to her wisdom, since she will have insight that may not see. Husbands and wives bring their own perspective on each topic, and a wise husband listens to his wife before making a decision for the family.

8. Get Your Behind to the Gym: If you are not in shape and don’t workout regularly, you need to do it. The physical aspect to being a man cannot be ignored. Being slothful, slovenly and out of shape is simply unacceptable for a man. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder, but you need to get into shape. This will also help to improve not just your physical side, but also your mental, emotional and spiritual sides as well. What we do and what happens to us, occurs IN the body. So if our body is not in shape, we cannot hope to be effective in other areas of our lives. Get to the gym

9. Be Patient: You didn’t get yourself into this mess in a couple of days, so it’s going to take you a while before you get out of it. You need to set the example and take accountability. You need to lead and give her the opportunity to follow. This will not be easy and it won’t be quick. It takes time for both of you to learn how to behave in the manner proper to your sex. It takes time for you to learn to be masculine and it will take time for her to learn to embrace her femininity. You will have moments where you act emasculated or she acts masculine. The key is to not stop or get frustrated, to never give up. You must get back up off the ground and try again. Do NOT give up.

10. Foster Meekness: Yes, this sounds contradictory, but it is not. We’ve just so mangled the word “meekness” to the point where it has lost its true meaning. True meekness is not cowardice nor weakness, but instead it is the Christian virtue of power under control. It is the basis for chivalry and civilization. It is the virtue that tames men so that we do not abuse or threaten women, but instead we cherish and protect them. To be a true Christian man, you must work at and perfect the Christian virtue of meekness, of building up your power but keeping it under control. Christ Himself modeled perfect meekness for us during His Passion. He could have summoned twelve legions of angels to wipe out everyone who wanted to crucify Him. Yet He controlled His power because He was on a mission. Your mission is not to save mankind, but instead your mission is to lead your family to God. Never forget that. The surest way for a husband to get to Heaven is to strive every day to lead his family to God.

Do not forget that leading your family includes every aspect of your lives. The most important of which is the spiritual aspect. If you fail in every other area of life, but you and your family remain holy and get to Heaven, your life is an eternal success. If you are successful in every aspect of life except the spiritual side, then you are an eternal failure. So in everything said in this post, the most important aspect of leadership for husbands is to lead their family to God. So YOU need to lead your family in bringing them to Mass. YOU need to lead the family in bringing them to Confession regularly (at least once a month). YOU need to lead your family in a daily Rosary.

Be the leader you were destined by God to be. If you do that, there is a very good chance your wife will follow your lead. God bless.